My computer's useless. I can only play Solitaire in it. Have no more money to buy an internet card. Not even power to buy an internet card.

These days, I feel like I'm getting weaker and weirder by the minute. Ang ewan ko kaya these days. Hay naku, abnoy na ata ako.

Wak. Abnoy na nga ata ako. Naaasar kasi ako tuwing may taong sasaya eh. Ehehe.. Crab. Pero hindi, minsan, naiinis talaga ako. Dahil nga siguro, naiinggit ako.

Bakit ganun? Ang unfair kaya ng buhay! Bakit parang ako na lang ang laging naiiwan? Bakit kaya lagi na lang ako nahuhuli sa takbo ng panahon? Bakit kaya ganun ang tadhana ko? Mukhang ang saklap ata. Bakit ba sa tuwing gustuhin kong maging maayos at matiwasay ang aking laging nagiging karimarimarim ang nangyayari? Bakit kaya ganun?

Pero lam mo, Life is what you make it. Maybe, it's all psychological! Naks.. Ako nga lang ba ang nag-iisip ng mga problema ko sa buhay? Ako nga lang ba ang nag-iisip na life is unfair? Yuck. Ang ewan pero ang sakit nya kung minsan.

Para talaga akong ewan at times. Galit na galit ako na naiinggit sa aking friend na kasama sa isang school activity. Dahil lang dun.... ang babaw ko.

Ngayon na ang feeling ko ay unfair ang mundo, nag-tagalog na ako. Ang saya nun, di ba?! Mag-tatagalog ulit ako kapag super bad trip.

Note to a "di-kapalagayang-loob": tsk... TIWALA? alam mo ba ibig sabihin nun? ayoko nang niloloko ako kasi hindi ako tanga para di malaman ang katotohanan! You've made a super wrong decision of making a fool out of me! Hindi mo pa ako nakitang totoo at todong magalit. Kala ko kaibigan kita,... yun pala....

"Parang tiwala pag nasira na
Mahirap nang ayusin pa
Di kayang ipagdikit ang tiwala
Pag napunit!
Parang tiwala pag naubos na!
Bigla biglaan talaga!
Mahirap nang makita
Kapag minsa'y nawala...

At kahit na pilitin, di mo
na mapapalitan
Kahit hanap-hanapin,
di mo na mababalikan
Kahit sabihin natin
na ika'y napagbigyan,
Wag na lang...

Parang tiwala pag namantsahan na!
Mahirap nang linisin pa,
di kayang burahin
Kahit na anong gawin! Parang tiwala! "

parang   T I W A L A

 .bye.

mwahahaha...

sobrang tagal na pala..

Well, my apologies to those who read my blog. It's just that I have no more time to blog. Sobrang busy sa school, with projects and all.  But, thank God, the 3rd periodical test is over. Actually, last week pa iyon pero sobrang thankful ako na tapos na siya. Sadly, the series of tests is not just my problem. After the tests, our teachers gave us loads of homeworks and projects. We have a lot of requirements due this week. And, thankfully, we have passed all of them. The projects due this week, I mean.

Ang pproblemahin ko na lang ngayon ay Math at Filipino. I have a Math project due this week. We have to research never-before-seen-by-our-teacher functions. Grabe, dyahe. And I also have this project for Filipino. Kaasar talaga yun.

Enough of projects, let's move to the brighter side of my hiatus time. Yesterday, our school hosted a physics contest. We were the facilitators of the said contest. I was one of the table coordinators. And I am so proud of my team eventhough they only got third place. But, still, it's Third Place in a Physics contest! By the way, I suck at Physics. But, thankfully, I passed the test in Physics. Going back to the contest,  I am so glad I took part on it. My classmates were so "in like" with this and that contestant. Well, I have to agree with them. They are pretty boys.

The devil's been so mean to me this days. Thank God, I have my angel. I passed the interview for a scholarship in which I applied in. I'm so thankful at first, but then, it just made my situation worse. Now, I'm facing this terrible situation. I don't know what school to go to.

I am a Limit Master. Wow. Ang kapal ko, sobra. ANyway, I'm currently addicted to limits. I am addicted to solving limits. I am so fascinated by Calculus. I didn't even expect that I would like a Math subject. But, now, I love Calculus and Trigonometry and FINITE MATH! Hell, I'll solve them anytime. I like them.....................................................................................................................this much.

Hehe. Anyway, Lovesick. Broken. That's my adjectives. I am undergoing this predicament right now. Sobrang sira na ang lovelife ko. Nyahaha. Sad kasi...

Concentration Gradient have already shattered my heart to pieces.

Physics Constant have left it in the freezer to freeze to death!

Limit Master doesn't know a thing at all.

Please help her pick up the pieces and restore her heart to life.

Will you?

Bye, for now. April.

Today was the first day of classes. Grabe. Na-miss ko ang mga Roentgen!!! I miss those wackos a bunch! hehe.. Today was ok. At least, I'm back to school and all the stuff.. Now, I'm beginning to miss vacation...... not!.... not?

I'm so weird. I'd rather go to school than have a vacation. What am I thinking! Well, honestly.. I, KIND OF, miss it already. Marami-rami rin kasi kaming dinatnan pagpasok namin sa school eh. Our room was a total mess! The teachers gave us stuff to do. We were a mess! Instant presentations for our Humanities project. Hidden talents were revealed on that one. It was a shame, though, that none of the groups had practiced enough for their songs to be well presented. But, it was all good. Our group was so funny.. the DISCO BABIES. Yes, that is our group name. It is formerly known as Spicy Sex Balls ON a Stick. But, we decided to change it since it's so xXx.. Hahaha.. Well, it was their idea.....

This day is not an ordinary one. Naaaliw ako kasi masaya ang araw na ito. I didn't even need THAT.. that.. basta, THAT! Masaya ang araw ko. Ewan ko kung bakit. Maybe it's because of the new year!?! Pero, what is the connection?! hahaha.. weirdo...

I went out after class with my classmates. Actually, I was the only girl in the group but that didn't make me feel out of place. I like them guys! ehehe.. These guys were members of PGENZ, our(TGENZ) "brother" org. Naks. They were really funny lalo na si Paulo! I had fun with them even if sobrang nakakairita iyong ice cream cone na sagabal na hawak ko nung mga sandaling iyon. Hayaan na, LIBRE naman eh!

After that, we went home. Buti na lang, hinatid pa ako kahit papaano sa sakayan ng Jeep. There's a peculiar thing that happened while I was boarding a jeepney. When you look at the jeep form outside, you can still see spaces in the seats but when you go inside, parang puno na. But, still, I went in. I stopped at the middle-ish part since it's as if nobody would let me sit. Sabi ko tuloy:... "Durf! Paupuin nyo naman ako!!!". Honestly, I was so irritated with that college person! That's why I said that. She heard it and she casted a weirded look towards me. I grrrr her so much! She didn't get to me that much, though.  I just smiled... and SAT opposite HER. mwahahaha...

I'M HAPPY, HAPPY, HAPPY...

Lunacy. Insanity. Euphoria. Taste it. Feel it. Savor it? Enjoy it? Cge.. ttry ko. ^_^

Weird entry. Posted by me. April. See you!!! xoxo

I got tagged!

whoa.. what a suprise!

anyway, Ate Grace(woot..fc) tagged me. It's a sort of tagging(?!?) game.. erm, can't explain it much, whatever...

from Candid Diffidence:

The Rules:

1.) The tagged victim has to come up with 8 different points of their perfect lover

2.) Need to mention the sex of the target.

3.) Tag 8 victims to join this game & leave a comment on their Comments saying they've been tagged.

4.) If tagged the 2nd time, theres no need to post again.

Ehehe.. eto na.
 

"Charlie"

Gender: Male(durf!)

Qualifications:

1. Responsible. Who wouldn't want a guy like that!

2. Musically Inclined. I would really love a guy who's musically inclined and well, his musical tastes must jive with mine.

3. Funny. I would really love a person with a really good sense of humor. Someone who can cheer me up when I'm feeling down.. all that stuff.

4. Unique. haha.. ewan. basta.. someone na kakaiba.. basta.

5. True. True to himself.. No pretensions. No masks. Just him.

6. Honest. Like me!!! ehehe...

7. Spontaneous. I get bored easily.. ehehe.. I want someone who always have something up his sleeve. Jack of all trades ba! Makulit!!!

8.  Sensitive. I would want someone who can guide me, comfort me.. mga ganun. I want somebody who cares!!!

***extra.. i want someone who's UNLIKE me in a way.. that way, i'll have more experiences with different kinds of people. i want someone na makakatagal sa kakulitan ko at sa attitude ko.

it's been a long time since my last post. I've been meaning to post more entries these past few days and I really have a lot of things to say but it's just that, schoolworks are weighing me down and there's scarcity going on in my life right now.. haha. scarcity!

wow. naks naman. i talked about my... ahh! whatever! anyway, i'm off.

see you in january 1!!!

Happy New Year everyone!!! Bonne Annee tout le monde!!!

Les etoiles sont censees pour briller pour vous, mon chevalier.

haha.. wala na akong maisip na ipost.

I'm bored. Nothing's happening these days. Matumal. Haha. The last time I left the house was when we've had our "mini photo shoot" for our Physics project.

Speaking of that project, it's so funny what happened on that day. It's such a rush. By that I mean the whole meeting and the whole shoot. We were running all over the place. We were throwing paper helicopters. Yes, helicopters, not airplanes! We were making paper fishes, even. Everything for the love of Physics. Well, we ran out of ideas so we just "abused" ourselves just to have more pictures. Danish, still there? Hehe.

But that day was so fun. Not only did I get the chance to go out of the house but also to spend it with my friends. A day of fun with friends. Hehe.. Getting sentimental here. Anyway, the shoot wasn't exactly an ordinary shoot. We sang, danced, acted, made fun of ourselves, "abused" ourselves, laughed to death and the list goes on and on. Haha.. And, guess what, it all happened in a cemetery. Hehe. *Paco Park*. The quiet ambience of a cemetery is no match for us. Thankfully, even if we're so noisy, no one has returned from the afterlife to threaten us to leave the place.

I miss them. I miss my friends, of course. I miss the mascians! Yes, mascians! From the tiny tots/freshies to the loco bunch of the seniors. Even the teachers.. well, I guess except for some. Hehe. *evil*. Wala lang. I miss my school. I miss the personnel. Huh? I miss our homeroom. I miss them all. Matagal-tagal pa. Konting tiis na lang.

On a lighter note, I watched Wowoweee this afternoon. Man, the contestants in the Willie of Fortune were so funny! The perya operators were so hilarious! Haha! I had a blast watching them. They made me laugh so hard to the point where my stomach's killing me in the process. Hehe. Sobrang nakakatuwa at nakakaaliw! Entertaining! So much!(hehehe...)

Well.. Ayun lang naman ang nangyari these days. I just wish the next few days would be much more exciting since Christmas time's nearing. Haha.

Anyways.. I wish you all a Merry Christmas! 4 days to go..

Joyeux Noel et Bonne Annee tout le monde!!!

I am so in love with Typecast right now.. geez. I'm addicted.

Typecast - Clutching
you closed your eyes
just to kill the conversation
it's raining forever
i think i'll drown myself with my tears

why does it have to be like this?
so it doesn't mean anything to you
so do you want to see loyalty?
are these tears not enough for you?

by the sound of your message
i felt you meant goodbye
the raining is never ending
clutching my emotions
remembering the moments passed

why does it have to be like this?
so it doesn't mean anything to you
so do you want to see loyalty?
are these tears not enough for you?

i thought it was okay
my feelings unfolded right before my eyes
what did your embraces mean?
did you mean it when you called my name?

Stupid song. Ehe, I can sooo relate to it.

I wonder, what if things were different. What if circumstances were different for both of us. One word. Asa. I wish I could change the way the earth revolves. I wish I could erase every memory, every feeling, everything so that nobody would get hurt. Nobody would cry. One word. ASA.

Everything happened so fast. But one thing remains.."Hindi pa nga nagsisimula, tapos na" Umuulit lang yung mga dating nangyari..

Wala lang. Hindi na ako nag-uupdate. Wala na kasi akong makwento eh!

Anyway, nothing much happened. I'm still the same old April. Love-deprived, unappreciated, sad and unpredictable. Gosh, so frustrating. But, still, there have been changes. Kahit papano naman mayroon! Eheh..

I've divulged myself in LOUD punk music(indie music na lang). Wehehe.. I've developed a liking towards this kind of music. I'm so glad I've found people who also appreciate this. Well, since 2nd year naman nagsimula na akong makinig eh! Nakakaasar nga lang kasi hindi ko maipagpatuloy since wala naman akong ka-jam sa mga trip kong kanta. Sobrang napapalibutan kasi ako ng mga taong POP at RnB. Ewan ko nga ba kung bakit ganun ang mga tao. They can't appreciate things that go beyond the "standard". So what if I'm Punk and Unruly? Naks.

Seriously, people, the mainstream people, annoy me. They say nasty things about Rock and Punk and all tapos, geez naman, yung mga kanta nila.. walang sinabi. Mas may sense pa yung mga sinisigaw ng mga Vocalist ng banda kaysa dun sa cliche theme ng mga kanta ng mga BOYBANDS at kung sinong mga starlet na yan. It's just a matter of giving them a shot and hearing them out. I mean, actually hearing them. Yun lang. Erm, ako naman kasi ay walang problema sa mga taong iyan. Nakakaasar lang ung pag-TYTYPECAST nila sa mga punkista at rakista as masama, b.i. at kung anu pang negative. Tsk. Yung mga posero't posera yun! Well, dapat kasi sa musika, walang pakialamanan. Ako, naappreciate ko ang kahit anong klase. Ballad to Metal, I'll listen to it as long as trip ko siya. Pag hindi ko naman "feel", e di I'll leave it na lang. Un un eh!

Ang sarap-sarap maging iba! Ang sarap maging unique! Ang sarap magpakatotoo! I don't know about you pero I give a damn pagdating sa uniqueness at personality. No, I'm not going to judge a person naman. Wala lang. I just feel na mas magandang IKAW ay IKAW. No pretensions. Mas masarap mabuhay nang hindi ka nag-aalala sa sasabihin ng ibang tao. Masarap mabuhay na you don't give a damn about what other people will say about you. Well, kasi, ang mga tao hindi agad-agarang nauubos kaya dapat hindi magpadala agad sa kung anong sasabihin nila ngayon. Kasi, for sure, meron pang bukas at mas marami ka pang haharapin by that time.

Nakakaasar ang mga taong sobrang conscious sa sarili nila. Yung consciousness na yun humahantong kasi sa selfishness which could probably result to much more scary things. haha. Naaasar ako sa mga taong paimportante. Sabi nila ganun daw ako. Wow! I hate myself. But that is so far from the truth. Nakakaasar kaya yung mga taong ganun kasi ang lalaki ng ULO nila. Gusto kong pagbabarilin ng SHOT GUN ung mga "malulusog" na ulong iyon. Naaasar ako sa mga "pleasers" at posers. Naku. Nakaka-bwiset! magpakatotoo nga kayo! Damn it! Ampaplastic. Remember, guys and girls, you CAN't possibly please everybody! As if naman! Asa pa kayo!

Ayoko sa mga taong hindi nakikinig. Yan guilty ako. I so hate myself for not listening especially to my parents. Damn. Napak-toot kong anak! Anyway, ayoko talaga sa mga hindi nakikinig lalo na pag nag-reareason out ka na. (yan naman ang problem sa parents ko) Parang, wala na silang pakialam pa sa mga maari mong sabihin na mas reasonable at logical kesa dun sa judgment nilang una. I mean, they don't give you a second CHANCE since they don't even have time to listen to you. Bwiset, di ba?

PS(Pasingit): Natatawa ako sa tatay ko ngayon. Tinanong niya ako kung sinong sumapak sa akin after I put on liberal "amounts?!" of black eye liner on my eyes. Ehe.. Saya kaya!!!

Sana naman naiintidihan mo ang mga pinagsasabi ko. Hehe. I just wish and hope I instilled some sense in your systems, people!

Til next time!

***PUNK and POP parehas? Ewan. Anyway, ROCK music na lang. LOUD ROCK MUSIC.(isn't that repetitive? ewan.) Well, I do listen to Screamo, that is a sub-genre of PUNK, isn't that PUNK? Well, siguro kasi naisip mo sa word na PUNK ung mga tipong Green Day, Simple Plan, Good Charlotte.. well, meron namang PUNK na hindi mainstream ah!!! Paki-consider naman yun.. Tsk.. It is popular music but not all of it are mainstream punk music! More of INDIE ako.. so, hindi ko na-clarify masyado.. sorry.. (teka, bakit nga ba ako nag-sosorry!?) Basta, that's what I think.